OK so rewind to about a week ago when I totally lost my shit on IG live because I am simply beyond tired of always trying to act like everything is OK. REALITY CHECK - it AIN'T! After a week of three 12 hour long panic/anxiety episodes, I threw in the towel on trying to be perfect and please everyone in my life, and surrendered to the fact that I NEED TO ADDRESS THIS SHIT ASAP. And I wanted to address it with you guys because A) you rule and B) I was hoping that some of you had also had similar experiences and could lend advice on how to HEAL.  AND DANGGGGG was I correct! 

Before I get into it, here are a few things that I am officially DONE with that I suggest you also ditch for an instantly healthier mental state: 

1. Doing things when I don't want to or don't feel like it. (JUST DON'T! DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO THAT? SAY NO??)

2. Bottling up emotions or hiding the ones that I don't think people don't want to deal with (GUESS WHAT? THEY DO! THEY LOVE YOU! DON'T HIDE YOUR TRUTH)

3. Always putting others feelings before my own - (THIS IS V APPROPRIATE AT TIMES, BUT NOT ALL THE TIME- PUT YOURSELF FIRST)


I want to share a little of my story here with you, if you feel so inclined to listen, and then share with you ALL of the suggestions and feedback I got from Instagram because you guys are BRILLIANT and creative and innovative and smart AF - shall I go on?

OK SO. I did not always have panic attacks. I have always had anxiety but the panic attacks only started when I was in my early 20s. My anxiety, which started much earlier in life, was mainly social anxiety, which likely stemmed from being overweight and made fun of. I remember I was going out for dinner with my Dad one night, and I wanted to go to the Keg more than anything because steak was life back then. It looked super busy so my Dad pulled up front and said. "just go run in and see how long the wait is going to be so we can decide to wait or not." I was in  (I believe) grade 8 or 9 at the time, and to me this task was unimaginable. I told him I could NOT do it. I was terrified. The thought of walking in there with people in the lobby staring at me asking the hostess a simple question gave me INSANE anxiety. We went back and forth for about 7 minutes. He tried to encourage me to go in and he said we could only eat steak there if I could work up the strength to do it. I couldn't. We drove away and did not eat at the Keg. This is just one of hundreds of examples, many of which surrounded me not being able to enter ANY public, people filled, establishment by myself. My friends would have to come outside to get me to walk into high school sport stadiums. If I was ever the first there for a lunch or dinner reservation I would wait outside and make a phone call as a diversion. If no one answered I would simply PRETEND to be on the phone because I felt so awkward and so uncomfortable just standing on the street in my own skin. I am happy and proud to say that I got over so much of that social anxiety via growing up. But that is the thing with anxiety, once you beat your symptoms that little fucker recreates itself in a whole new way. It turned more into a general anxiety, in which I would do anything to avoid any sort of conversation with strangers, as well as any problem, issue, or potential point of embarrassment. I would do crazy shit like eat food that had a fly in it because I didn't want to bother the server - speaking up for myself was generally out the question. I bet every one of my friends who is reading this right now I have forced call Telus, or my landlord, or the bank, because even dealing with confrontation on the phone overwhelmed me with anxiety. "Can you call and pretend to be me" is still a line I have to use today, although MUCH less frequently.  I think a lot of my anxiety came from my lack of confidence, and as I have grown up and learned to love myself the anxiety has lessened. But then came the panic attacks. 


The first one happened when I was on a flight home from Mexico with my boyfriend at the time. It was so scary to have a full blown attack, the first one at that, in the FUCKING SKY of all places. Since then I only had about a couple a year after that, but they are traumatizing, debilitating, and incredibly hard on my body. Nausea, vomiting (over 50 times an episode),  spins, sweats, hallucinations, insomnia, hyperventilation - you name it. I once called an ambulance on myself in Minneapolis because I literally thought I was going to die from the panic. I had a point where I couldn't snap out of the panic for SIX DAYS. I couldn't leave my bed (slash shower because that is where I lay down in feudal when I am sick).  Fast forward to last week and I am 3 attacks in - two being in Chicago - and one of those two being at a country music festival. God bless my girl Susan for helping me out of there and helping me barf out of the bike rickshaw all the way down lakeshore. I have finally accepted music festivals and big crowds when I am already anxious is big fat NONO. So is alcohol and caffeine. The worst is the panic you can create by panicking about having another panic attack. I think that is why my 1 turned into 3 the other week. 

I am not sharing all this information with you in hopes of finding sympathy.  1/5 women our age suffer from crippling anxiety. When I finally decided to speak out on this I was in TEARS at the amount of love, messages and feedback that came to me when I reached out to you guys for help. I learned so much from you. And I just want to make sure EVERYONE has the information because we are all in this together. LET'S FIGURE IT OUT! 

Here is a list of ways to cope (from you! And often word for word) without medication:

I want to just start with this message I got because it helped me make SO much sense of my panic. Like THIS GIRL IS BRILLIANT OK. I am keeping this blurb in my notes section for when I start to panic. 

1. She said: the quickest fix and overall most important thing that you have to do is to completely accept the horrible feelings and sensations AS they're happening. Listen to your body and really hear it.. it is trying to communicate something important to you, whether or not you think that it's approach is rational. What your body is trying to do is actually help you. Although it may hurt you and make you feel fearful and uncomfortable, it's a cycle. If you give into the tornado it gets stronger.. listen to the tornado, step back and acknowledge out loud and keep saying in your mind over and over that you hear yourself, that you see yourself, and that you respect and appreciate the warning from your body. Verbally tell yourself that there is no danger, that you are safe and thank your body for trying to warn you, just be sure to let it know that the panic is unnecessary and that you want your control back. The less fearful you are of your fear and panic, the less control it has over you and the less it happens/quicker you recover. Eventually this will build up and your body won't have irrational reactions in the same way that you're feeling now.

2. Grounding yourself to calm down - I LOVE THIS ONE because if you lose your noodle when you have a panic attack like me, this is very helpful:

54321 technique to ground yourself - name 5 things you can see in the room, name 4 things you can feel, name 3 things you can hear, name two things you can smell, name 1 good thing about yourself.

3. Yoga/Meditation 

4. Untethered Soul Audiobook

5. follow @yogagirl, @mindful613

6. stay hydrated - this is a trigger for some people which I found very interesting because it is directly related to alcohol and caffeine intake..

7. Stay distracted and do activities that help you RELAX only

8. Exercise and healthy lifestyle 

9. Stretching 

10. Essential oil in diffuser 

11. Rhythmic breathing - focus on stomach moving up and down 

12.Magnesium supplements 

13. Ashwangandha to help balance hormones 

14. The Calm App - meditation 

15. Tea - holy basil tulsi tea and magnesium calm 

16. back rubs - also personally recommend those light tickle ones (hehe)

17. Essential oil - Valor, Doterra rollerball (Peace, Cheer, Console, Lavender), Vetiver, Frankincense  - roll on wrists or back of neck to relax 

18. A good therapist - see a therapist to get to root and face your fears

19. Exposure therapy - accept the anxiety when it comes and reset it by doing things to prove to yourself you are not in danger. For example: checking the mail or listening to voicemails or returning a call - anything that you avoid that makes you uncomfortable.

20. Cognitive behavioural therapy - cbt4panic.org - screenshot the important pages on your phone and make an album to have as reminders that you can quickly look at when you start to feel anxious

21. healing crystals - (I have only one, but I swear by it for helping with my anxiety and nightmares)

22. Books: Forest Bathing, Genius Foods by Max Lugavere

23. Shower/bath, hot water in general - I lay on the shower floor for hours and let the water run on my body to relax it

24. Acupuncture (I really want to try this asap)

25. Chinese herbs - Magnolia bark and Pinella 

26. The "serenity prayer" 

27. Look for 10 red items around you and count them to calm and focus the mind 

28. Deep breathing - as long as your exhale is longer than your inhale - (smart)

29. CBD oil (this was a popular answer)

30. Say bye to refined sugar

31. Reiki level 1 - in French it's called the shower! How fitting :)

32. Zoo therapy - CUDDLE ANIMALS or foster a pup or borrow a friends!

33. Listen to your body - sleep, isolate yourself, call someone

34. Talk out loud - I AM OK, THIS WILL PASS

35. Go off the pill

36. Listen to a podcast or motivational speaker 

37. Rescue remedy - available on amazon

38. The 3's - sit in a space where it is just you and ask yourself out loud to name 3 things you can see, 3 you can touch, and 3 you can hear. Do this over 3 times. 

39. Sudarshan Kriya Meditation sequence - learn this!

40. Ditch booze and caffeine

41. Medical marijuana

42. Feudal position on the floor or child's pose

43. Think of things and people you love

44. Tell your loved one what you need and let them be there for you - for example if you need to be held, rubbed, left alone etc. 

45. Try to understand your triggers - drama, confrontation, relationships, alcohol, stress, and move forward. Make a list of all your stresses  

46. Take a break from social media or just use LESS social platforms daily

47. Supplements - "Chill Pills" all natural 

48. Have an ANCHOR. A person in your life you can always go to when you feel this way. 

49. Singing - this is actually a Mikaela technique, it helps to calm the hyperventilating and open up the airways

50. Rocking your body in bed - another Mikaela technique, I know it is weird but the motion of rocking can distract you.

Please remember, there is NOTHING wrong with going on daily medication! I am just trying out some natural options first. Who wants to work through this list with me? I am always here to chat!



The closer I get to the big 3-0, birthdays are becoming less about a big party and more about taking the day to soak in all the special people and places in your life. A day to reflect, sit back and appreciate where you are at in life and anything you have accomplished that year. To be completely honest, that is the way I like it!

This year I was lucky enough to be home in Toronto on my birthday. With the amount of times I have moved throughout my 20s and the travel that exists in my career, I don’t often get to ACTUALLY spend my birthday celebrating with loved ones.  To enjoy the day to the FULLEST, I decided to have a little Toronto themed Birthday Staycation, featuring my fav Toronto spots . Needless to say it was a magical day, and I am excited to share with you guys a couple of my cannot live without locations in the city when for you need to kickback, relax and treat-yoself.



I started off my lil B-day Staycation at my favourite spa in the city. Now TRUST - I have been to most of the notable spas in Toronto and sorry not sorry but nothing beats Hammam. The second you walk down the stairs off the business of King Street West, it is like entering a different world – a ZEN world. I know this is a bizarre comparison but it is like you are stepping out of the craziness of the city and crawling back in the warm safe cozy womb (LOL). Anyways, it smells like a DREAM in there and both the reception staff and technicians are always the most friendly and informative. You basically will never want to leave, especially because of their facility, inclusive of the best steam room in the city and an super cozy tea lounge to enjoy in the softest of robes, so ensure you give yourself ample time to spend.

I had a 60 minute massage as well as the OxyGeneo facial. I have had massages at Hammam before and they never disappoint. I like A LOT of pressure and I used to have a hard time finding a therapist who can actually get up in those knots the way I need – until I started coming to Hammam, that is.  The only bad part of the massages there is the end.. because well… then it is over! I sit at a desk all day and am constantly head down looking at my phone so I have a lot of tension in my upper back. I left feeling like a million dollars.

After my massage we went right into the OxyGeneo Facial. I am guilty of not getting facials. I think this is the first one I have had in years but it was my VERY first oxygenating facial. They use this tool that feels similar to a vacuum and move it around over your face with various products to, exfoliate, stimulate your skin and essentially bring oxygen to your face. It helps with skin’s appearance, dark/sun spots, pores and blemishes, and is suitable for almost all skin types! The mask goes over your mouth and eyes so the technician kindly let me know if I was at all claustrophobic to tell her. I have never even heard of a mask that goes over all parts of the face but let me tell you – it was SO WEIRD, but in a good way. It felt like someone was making a cast of my face. To be still and have your eyes and mouth closed for 15 minutes  is a very good mediation exercise, and left me feeling very relaxed.  While she mask was on she did a hand and arm massage, as well as a foot rub with hot towels. I was in HEAVEN. You can notice the results of increased oxygen immediately, and I also noticed additional results as the week progressed. My skin looked more even and felt more supply. I will definitely be going back for this treatment and I highly recommend it to you!

Be sure to check out my highlights on my Instagram to get a closer look into my Hammam Spa experience!


Post spa, I then headed to my home away from home, One King West, for the ultimate hotel stay. I am sure you guys remember but one King West is where we hosted the Bachelor Canada viewing party in Suite 1500 and also where I did my Women Tell All Live Feed. I. LOVE. THIS. HOTEL. Seriously - everything about it. I love the regal, vintage yet modern feel of the lobby, I love the décor, and I especially love the views from the suites. Every time I stay here I feel like a Queen!


Upon checking in, up to the room I went only to receive a phone call that there was a little treat waiting for me in the fridge. It seems that the team at One King West has figured out that the way to my heart is through dessert and they surprised me with an amazing “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” plate of cheesecake and chocolate covered strawberries. #LUCKYGIRL.  Talk about above and beyond. I have to be honest though - I wasn’t surprised. The team at one King West truly understands attention to detail and always makes my stay there incredibly special and memorable.

There is something about staying in a hotel that makes you feel so fancy and glamorous and I absolutely love it.  For my Birthday Staycation we stayed in the ever-so spacious The Tower Premium Suite. The fact that it has a separate bedroom and living space area is amazing and gave us enough room for my girl Steph to come set up to do some birthday glam while I had a couple girlfriends over for prosecco!

Whether you want to go a little east, a little west, or stay in the downtown core, the location is as central as it gets, and the lobby was a great place to have the girls all meet up before we headed to dinner. The Path is also below the hotel if you need anything, and in the cold Toronto winters, being able to access shops without having to throw on a faux fur and brave the cold is invaluable!

Fast forward to after dinner at Lee  (cause SLAW, duh)  and I am sitting up with my blogger babe Darlene chatting about life over One King West truffle fries and watching Forensic files in bed. Honestly, the perfect end to the perfect day! On top of it all, I had the most amazing sleep! I honestly NEVER sleep through the night I am such a wrestles sleeper, but these beds, I am telling you! Even if you don’t need to stay at a hotel, maybe just go sleep at One King West for the night if you need some good shut eye!


In the morning, sunlight filled the room. When I stay here I like to leave the blinds open because the view of the city when the sun rises over the lake and all the high rise buildings is epic. You can watch the entire city as it wakes up from the quiet and comfort of your cozy bed.

Be sure to head to my Instagram highlights to see more on my stay with One King West!

All in all, what an A M A Z I N G way to ring in 28. Thank you to everyone who hung out, laughed, ate food, and made it so special. I love this city and I love all of you!

Opinions in the post are all my own and this post is not sponsored.




I have been rambling on all January about how 2018 is the year of SELF CARE, getting into better routines, healthier habits and creating more structure in my life in order to feel like my best self more than I have in the past. If you have been following me along on IG since the The Bachelor ended, you may recall that I decided to take a go at finally taking better care of my hair with Natures Bounty Hair Skin and Nails Gummies avec Biotin. I promised to take the little suckers every day (2 a day to be exact), and give you guys my honest opinion about the effect they had on my mane.

Before I fill you in, let me give you a bit of a run down on my hair sitch. With age, my hair has gotten a lot thinner and less soft, and it is something that I have become rather self-conscious about. Don’t get me wrong, I am not here to complain, and I love my natural curl, but I envy you girls with thick braids and flowing ponytails! I have taken all sorts of vitamins and even had blood work done to make sure I did not have any deficiencies (which I did not), but nothing really made any difference in my hair. Enter: Natures Bounty Hair Skkin and Nails Gummies. I have been taking these bad boys for over a month now, and I kid you not I can see a difference in my hair, skin, and nails. It is sometimes tricky to notice changes in yourself since we see ourselves constantly and consistently – BUT MY MOM SAID SO! Jk, my hair stylist, whom I see quite often, even noticed a difference herself! What changed you ask? The two biggest things I noticed with my hair were 1.) less breakage. This is huge for me because the more it breaks the thinner it feels. It was amazing to get some volume back! 2. Texture! My hair is naturally quite wiry and taking these vitamins daily definitely contributed to softer locks. Is my hair perfect? No. But most things in life aren’t! It does feel great to know that I have discovered a product that can improve my situation and make me feel more confident in what I am workin’ with. FYI – they actually taste amazing and I am guilty of perhaps having a couple extra one or two days.. or three.. sue me!

So here you have it, the Mikaela Wightman stamp of approval on this product. Please let me know if you have tired them and what your results were! Taking the Natures Bounty Hair Skin and Nails gummies is something I am officially working into my daily routine for 2018 to enhance my health and wellness game.

*this blog post is not sponsored, all reviews and opinions are my own.*